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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

A horrible experience in the hospital-draft1

Today morning, when Peter was sleeping, the phone rang. Peter got up and answered the phone, which was called from Peter’s sister. She said that their father sent to an emergency room at the dawn. But they had a big problem that was they didn’t have enough money. So Peter went to borrow money from his friend, and worked harder and harder. Finally, his father was restoration from sickness. They lead a happy life forever.

7 Comments:

  • At 8:15 PM, Blogger Samantha*霓∥ said…

    father sent to an emergency room at the dawn. But they had
    直接接but好像怪怪的 應該可以先說手術要花很多錢 但她們很窮之類的

     
  • At 8:16 PM, Blogger 許雅婷 said…

    1.at the dawn沒有the吧
    2.and worked harder and harder.沒主詞
    3.restoration 是名詞

     
  • At 8:17 PM, Blogger FawnYma said…

    1.this morning
    2.She said that their father
    "was" sent to an emergency room

     
  • At 8:23 PM, Blogger Butterfly said…

    1.So Peter went to borrow money from his friend我覺得不用went to 直接用borrow過去式

    2. Finally, his father was restoration from sickness 用 restored

    3.They lead a happy life forever.
    加個with each other

    4.文章有點過短,劇情可以再多一點,比如他在外地工作的時候,他爸爸病危之類的

     
  • At 8:28 PM, Blogger 梁宜靜 said…

    1.. Today morning->this morning
    2..their father "was" sent to an emergency room at the dawn

     
  • At 8:38 PM, Blogger Tina said…

    at dawn而已喔!!
    restoration->restored

     
  • At 7:44 PM, Blogger Celia said…

    "This morning", when Peter was sleeping, the phone rang.

     

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