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Friday, October 12, 2007

A Frightening Experience(draft1)

I’ll never forget the day when I was ten years old. I went to Thailand with my family. In the third day of the trip, we went to see the python. It was very big and scared, but I though it very novel to me. As soon as we prepared going the next site, I saw an attention getting fountain, I kept an eye on that for a while. Turning back, I couldn’t find my parents. I was very nervous, so I saw around and wanted to cry. I thought that I couldn’t speak Thai or English very well, and could I go back to Taiwan safely? I really had no idea, and I was pretty scared. Suddenly, I saw a familiar person pass by me. That was my grandpa! It was so great to see him. I promised that I would never do it again.

7 Comments:

  • At 7:17 AM, Blogger 梁宜靜 said…

    1..novel 是形容詞吧..前面要加be動詞
    2..going "to" the next site
    3..saw around ->look around比較好

     
  • At 7:28 AM, Blogger Butterfly said…

    1.I’ll never forget the day when I was ten years old.我覺得可以寫I never forget the day when I was ten years old.用未來式感覺你以後才不會忘記現在已經忘記了一樣

    2.It was very big and scared, but I though it very novel to me. 我不知道你那個scared是形容動物還是你自己覺得,所以應該要用scaring

    3.As soon as we prepared going the next site, I saw an attention getting fountain, I kept an eye on that for a while. 我覺得用prepared for going, 後面那句用I paid too much attention to the fountain to take my eyes off that.比較順.

    4.and could I go back to Taiwan safely?我覺得用and I couldn't help but think whether can I go back to Taiwan safely or not.

    5.That was my grandpa這個主用he比較好

    6.整篇的and用太多了,可以用副詞像moreover, furthermore, in addition,besides之類的

     
  • At 8:19 AM, Blogger 許雅婷 said…

    1.we prepared going the next site應該是prepared to go to
    2. I saw an attention getting fountain這句怪怪的

     
  • At 9:32 AM, Blogger Samantha*霓∥ said…

    it very novel to me.>>要有動詞吧
    getting fountain, I kept an eye on >>是不是該加個連接辭

    好驚險歐 還好你有被找回來
    不然我現在就愈不到你了耶

     
  • At 11:06 PM, Blogger Celia said…

    It was very big and scared, but I though "it very novel to me."應該是it was very novel to me .

     
  • At 4:19 AM, Blogger FawnYma said…

    I thought that I couldn’t speak Thai or English very well, and could I go back to Taiwan safely? 這兩句不能放在一起吧,我覺得" Besides, I was worried if I could go back go Taiwan safely"
    妳的AND 真的太多了…

     
  • At 7:32 AM, Blogger Tina said…

    I "thought" it "was" very novel to me.
    going "to" the next site
    look around比較好吧!

     

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