A Frightening Experience(draft1)
I’ll never forget the day when I was ten years old. I went to Thailand with my family. In the third day of the trip, we went to see the python. It was very big and scared, but I though it very novel to me. As soon as we prepared going the next site, I saw an attention getting fountain, I kept an eye on that for a while. Turning back, I couldn’t find my parents. I was very nervous, so I saw around and wanted to cry. I thought that I couldn’t speak Thai or English very well, and could I go back to Taiwan safely? I really had no idea, and I was pretty scared. Suddenly, I saw a familiar person pass by me. That was my grandpa! It was so great to see him. I promised that I would never do it again.

7 Comments:
At 7:17 AM,
梁宜靜 said…
1..novel 是形容詞吧..前面要加be動詞
2..going "to" the next site
3..saw around ->look around比較好
At 7:28 AM,
Butterfly said…
1.I’ll never forget the day when I was ten years old.我覺得可以寫I never forget the day when I was ten years old.用未來式感覺你以後才不會忘記現在已經忘記了一樣
2.It was very big and scared, but I though it very novel to me. 我不知道你那個scared是形容動物還是你自己覺得,所以應該要用scaring
3.As soon as we prepared going the next site, I saw an attention getting fountain, I kept an eye on that for a while. 我覺得用prepared for going, 後面那句用I paid too much attention to the fountain to take my eyes off that.比較順.
4.and could I go back to Taiwan safely?我覺得用and I couldn't help but think whether can I go back to Taiwan safely or not.
5.That was my grandpa這個主用he比較好
6.整篇的and用太多了,可以用副詞像moreover, furthermore, in addition,besides之類的
At 8:19 AM,
許雅婷 said…
1.we prepared going the next site應該是prepared to go to
2. I saw an attention getting fountain這句怪怪的
At 9:32 AM,
Samantha*霓∥ said…
it very novel to me.>>要有動詞吧
getting fountain, I kept an eye on >>是不是該加個連接辭
好驚險歐 還好你有被找回來
不然我現在就愈不到你了耶
At 11:06 PM,
Celia said…
It was very big and scared, but I though "it very novel to me."應該是it was very novel to me .
At 4:19 AM,
FawnYma said…
I thought that I couldn’t speak Thai or English very well, and could I go back to Taiwan safely? 這兩句不能放在一起吧,我覺得" Besides, I was worried if I could go back go Taiwan safely"
妳的AND 真的太多了…
At 7:32 AM,
Tina said…
I "thought" it "was" very novel to me.
going "to" the next site
look around比較好吧!
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